Tim Onion

Some incredibly good news: One year ago this week, The Onion returned to print. In that one year, we’ve grown to the 13th largest print newspaper in the United States, just ahead of the Boston Globe, and growing fast. In short, it’s working. So… thank you. Thank you for helping save this thing.

The Onion News Network truck is currently stationed outside the Broadview ICE Detention facility just outside of Chicago.

Too bad the GOP effectively criminalized studying how information moves online and news orgs laid off and demonized all the reporters who covered the burgeoning online accelerationist performative death cults. All of that work was somehow "censorship" that needed to be stopped. Now we're here.

Hi this is Boo Buie, this is my father Boo Buie and my grandfather, you're not gonna believe this, Boo Buie.

Pretty much the same column.

Do not fall for this, @durbin.senate.gov.

Wait, people on here are rooting FOR France? Against Spain???

Serial killers.

20 years ago we used to have Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs and now we have Johnny Diarrhea, Bob Diarrhea and Steve Diarrhea.

He popped like a balloon.

No hell too hot. www.sunjournal.com/2026/07/13/i...

Folks, could it be stove touchin’ time?

ICE killed a random guy today.