Emily Nussbaum

I watched this year’s Emmys through Bluesky instead of in real life and I don’t regret it, that was juuust enough knowledge for me

Wow, that drawing and poem made my stomach drop. It’s not ambiguous… & the idea of him sending that kind of overt, public message makes me ill

When I die, please do not write an AI obituary of me *or* code an AI replica, however well-intentioned, but feel free to build a shockingly realistic rotini sculpture & then eat it at my shiva

I just watched a screener so funny it make me scream & weep! TV you crazy bitch you’ve still got it

I don't think candidates have to be grown in a vat, but maybe marinate them in the vat for a couple of months

caught up on Abbott Elementary, v cool that they've kept those two nerdy lovebirds together with realistic bumps instead of building a bunch of false drama & splitting them up

If I threw a magnifico celebrity megawedding, I would tell each guest something totally different so I could tell who leaked it… & ultimately the clues I gave them would form a cool sentence

Hot Ones PLUS Criterion Closet

I talked to Mitch McConnell for 18.5 minutes but Rose Mary Woods erased the tape

I FOUND ANOTHER PERSON WHO DOES THE SAME SELF-DESTRUCTIVE OCD-ESQUE OBSESSIVE TURNING OF HER FIRST DRAFT PARAGRAPHS INTO WIDOW-FREE CUBES I AM NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD

You know what was a good movie? Dave. Maybe we could try something like that

My office will also not confirm that I am conscious

Lot of people blaming the Jews for all & sundry unrelated things, I need to put this out there, I am NOT that good a multitasker