Jesus and Butthead

Why does Burger King have a sign that says "Now Hiring"? "Career Whoppertunities" is right there.

Waiting for the trickle down since 1981.

He's just upset because he realized he's not even the best president in the Epstein files.

Ok, Cocaine Bear is the best Care Bears movie ever.

Question (no joke today) I have been offered a job for significantly more money than the one I have now. I do love the job I have now, but should I leave it just for $? We don't really need the extra money, so have I been conditioned to go for $ over happiness? Why am I seriously considering it?

When I was in high school, one of my friends was dating a girl who lived next door to Ditka. So yeah, I was drunk and threw up in his bushes once.

Buckingham Palace would be a lot cooler if you could just go in and use the washroom.

My life is just one big comb-over.

John Carpenter's Thing is a movie about his penis, right?

I used to go to church, but then I realized I could have a pancake breakfast at home.

I remember when pride in our country meant you had a bicentennial belt buckle. None of this hating people stuff.

Cocktails made by celebrities: Lou Diamond Phillips Screwdriver

I was going to comment on your post, but I read all the previous comments, and someone already made the joke I had in mind. You're welcome.

I get more blocks on days that I don't post anything, so I blame it on everyone I repost. Thanks, I love you guys.