Margaret Cho

When the relationship is over but the song you wrote about them still slaps My single #luckygift is streaming everywhere now!

Comedians are a comfort and he can’t silence all of us. The ridicule must go deeper. Bruise and swell him from the inside. Thicken those ankles until they burst.

Releasing the Epstein files would be a great palate cleanser

They’re closing hospitals to open concentration camps.

Elon - it’s such little dick behavior of you not to want to pay taxes. BIG dick moguls DEMAND to pay their share. It proves they know their worth and are DYING to flex it. Your unwillingness to pay just shows what an itty bitty dick you have. Your baby dick will grow if you pay your fucking taxes.

I hate when Dump wears the really fancy tuxedo. It’s just the worst look he could possibly have. He is just greed personified. He is entitlement on wheels. A gilded lily that is rotting from the inside. It’s so literal and on the nose it’s sickening.

Were you at Stagecoach or Stagedcoach this weekend?

Asian don’t raisin but pussy do prune

I’ve long thought Bernie Sanders should join Parliament. Not the governing body, the band. I just feel like he has some beautiful funk inside that yearns to be expressed.

Every morning I wake with the hope I’ll open my phone and there will be a million texts telling me he died. I get a thrill in my chest even just thinking about it right now.

Every day we wonder whether we will live or die all because of the whims of an idiotic, incompetent, incoherent, incontinent pedoph*ile whose best quality is that he is a coward.

We make so much space and so many excuses and so much accommodation for aberrant male sexuality that we have a literal r*pist and a pedoph*le for a president. And it’s even more of a crime to use those actual words than it is for him to hold the highest office in the world.

Louis CK shoulda just had an OnlyFans so people could pay to watch him jerk off instead of subjecting female comics to it. Missed financial opportunity!

For summer protests I predict a bunch of big titty frogs.