Patton Oswalt

“Superman is too woke!” Literally the first page of the first ever appearance of Superman:

Every day I’m inspired by the bravery of these courageous ICE agents.

My special BLACK COFFEE AND ICE WATER is nominated for a Signal Award! The winner is in your hands!!! You can vote until October 15 at vote.signalaward.com

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When you recognize the subway hijacker’s sneeze.

POSTER REVEAL! My October tour art is by the incredible @mikeholmesdraws. He rocks. Santa Fe, Mesa, and Tucson, see you soon. Tickets at pattonoswalt.com!

Goodbye Rose City Comic-Con! I’ll miss you the most, Llama-For-Some-Reason!

Apparently people are sharing this far and wide on social media, which I think is horrible. This could cripple ICE operations. PLEASE do not share this.

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Love how all the headlines and cable pundits are, “Well, Angie Nixon addressed and promised action on the issues the majority of people have been OPENLY AND CLEARLY SCREAMING ABOUT FOR THE LAST DECADE and somehow she pulled off a ‘surprise’ victory! Politics sure is crazy, huh?”

Gonna be hard to outthink those neural networks when the only thoughts the they have are “KILL ME” on a loop.