Darren Ewing

"okay! i've got all the sheep! hallo?! boss?? I HAVE ALL THE SHEEP!"

here it comes... the ellison wankers are putting their mitts on everything as far as the eye can see. i've been working steadily because i have so many old friends, but i won't work for ellison. i never thought i'd retire from telly until you lot decided i was past it. but the clock is ticking.

i'm gonna hijack this post to say that i didnae know about this book and just bought it because david is fucking brilliant and i once told john grisham he looked like a talking penis and he hates me and i feel bad now.😐 a wee bit.

here's a three minute creepy tale... "ghost train."

"it's WHOOOO, steve." "fuck off." "seriously... it freaks everyone out when you scream 'WHYYYY' at 4am."

"you said it was fancy dress! you said you were dressing like a magician! you said i should wear my beaver costume! there's a special place in hell for you, waylon. there's a special place in hell."

"yo! muffy here! welcome to the pod! today i watched a dog called 'winston' eat my poo out of a sandbox like it was magic bonbons that make you rich! we're gonna talk about that. but first, i wanna tell you about 'kitty-kitty bang-bang' wipes for when you're not clean enough and yer tongue's tired."

still can't get over the fact that gene hackman died alone in his house a week after his wife died in the other room and the dogs starved to death and nobody knew about it or even gave a fuck. sorry—just trying to sort the importance of fame and fortune in life... and failing.