Darren Ewing

"okay! i've got all the sheep! hallo?! boss?? I HAVE ALL THE SHEEP!"

a couple of these lads are close to my age. take that all you young hippie whippersnappers.🧐 *runs to bathroom* aje.news/2iyt5r

my four acres up in hamlin means i got to cast my vote for @andrealaflamme.bsky.social and i hope if any of you are up there and can do the same, you will. whatever happens... i hope andrea continues the fight.

i just met calista flockhart and her husband and a bunch of other people better than i am. they really liked a script i wrote ten fucking years ago and she's very funny and indiana jones invited me to try some whisky he says "is fantastic." apropos... my agent shat himself on zoom. me...

software that you can own... that actually shuts down when you shut it down instead of running the the background "to make your life better."🙄 we used to have that. it worked well.

i missed this thread. i knew it was going to be bad—the world cup in trump's usa—but the reality wi' them always turns out to be worse than i imagined.😔 • fuck fifa.🖕 • fuck trump.🖕 • fuck the 2026 world cup in nazi usa.🖕 follow @tariqpanja.bsky.social for solid reporting on what's happening.👇

i just invented the word "wankerism." i expect i'll invent some other words involving wankers before the year is out. stay tuned. same bat time. same bat channel.* (*i wrote "batman beats off a shark" in the alt text of this gif p̶u̶r̶e̶l̶y̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶a̶c̶c̶i̶d̶e̶n̶t̶ because i'm a fuckin' wizard.)

#AudioMo - okay... i waited 16 years to participate in this challenge and i aim to make up for lost time. here's a wee story i created today for my first #AudioMo. my thanks to @ernmander.org and @documental.ly for welcoming me into the @audiomo.org fold.🥃 i hope i didnae fuck this up.😬

"it's all the SAME! the AI that is stealing content and jobs from people with actual talent is THE SAME AI that makes slop and finds your news clips and does your homework and writes your code and advises you to kill yourself and bombs children and is destroying the god-dammed planet. fuck you."

"my ai is okay." "yeah. his ai is okay." "yeah. it's the other ai that's bad." "yeah. it's the other ai that's bad." "yeah."

i was friends wi' eddie money. he would ring me up, we'd go hang at the beverly garland hotel on lankershim in north hollywood, and try to drink ourselves sober. one time i was explaining what a "wanker" is and we concluded "jerk off" was basically the same. then he said: "...like ted nugent."