Sal Gentile

if you took a dementia test and thought it was an IQ test you failed both the dementia test and the IQ test

if you took a dementia test and thought it was an IQ test you failed both the dementia test and the IQ test

as someone whose mother still calls him “salvatore” and who ate braciole multiple times a week as a child I feel I have the credentials to say Mamdani is right, fuck Columbus. he should be replaced with someone like Scorsese, Italo Calvino, Giada De Laurentiis or my personal preference, Mike Piazza

everyone is being unfair to mister trump. he finally found a new best friend after his previous best friend died in prison under mysterious circumstances a few years ago. he’s moving on and i for one am happy for him.

“our product might kill everyone. that said, we would also like to be rich. so it’s a double edged sword”

everyone is justifiably focusing on the legal or ethical questions about all this but let’s not zoom past how transparently and laughably stupid it is to promise to do something if you win that you could have easily done for 2 years and could still do right now. truly the world’s dumbest criminal

here I am on september 9th, the mets 10.5 games out of a playoff spot, thinking to myself, if the mets lose this game to the marlins I might just light myself on fire

Late Night is on summer hiatus but Seth and I are still going crazy so we’re doing a new weekly video podcast called “A Closer Look: Out of Office” where we jump on zoom and chat about stories we’d be covering if we were on air. I think it’s fun if you wanna check it out! youtu.be/bto70TRCLfo?...

Late Night is on summer hiatus but we desperately miss doing A Closer Look every day so we've been posting very fun compilations of old segments based on specific topics and it's shocking how much has already been forgotten. Here's the first one on Trump's ballroom obsession youtu.be/ePyhyRPtlys?...

I wrote a thing for @newrepublic.com last year about how the secret to Zohran’s success was literally just “being normal,” and every day he just keeps turning up the “be a normal person” dial to 11 newrepublic.com/article/1979...

the mets winning four games in a row

I’m not even mentioned in here which by extension logically implies that I am batting 1.000 and thus the greatest joke writer of all time

here’s our closer look from last night on trump eating shit at the whcd. normally seth doesn’t know what the clip at the end is gonna be, he just sees the setup. but this time he wanted to know because it involved explaining what a chode is and I think that was a wise choice youtu.be/LZnx9caKOpw?...

the odyssey discourse is a beautiful perfect window into right wing culture war psychosis. they went from hysterial racist mania over a character that’s on screen for 5 minutes to claiming there’s a massive conspiracy to fake ticket sales. this is just what they do for everything now. they’re insane