Danielle Kurtzleben

The oyster-shucking, baseball-playing, hands-working-with men have arrived on the 2026 political scene, and I have thoughts. daniellekurtzleben.substack.com/p/when-authe...

I do not know how to fix it, but I cannot say enough how much we in the news need to figure out how to handle the “flood the zone with shit” strategy.

A thing I really need people to keep in mind: 15% tariffs are high, historically speaking. 10% tariffs are high. The average effective tariff rate before this term was just over 2%. Anything double-digits is high!

It’s easy to call anything a distraction but in reality the zone is flooded. There is just a crazy amount going on. Any one of these things (Epstein, DC, immigration, universities, tariffs) would in any other time be a weeks or months long news cycle.

Will be joining @newrepublic.com’s @perrybaconjr.bsky.social and @meredithconroy.bsky.social today at 10 AM ET on substack live to talk about Platner and allllll the masculinity things. substack.com/@perrybaconj...

Just watched Shin Godzilla. Friends, this is the movie that Don’t Look Up failed miserably at being.

Ok serious question: Why “explosive” diarrhea? Why not “severe” or “acute” or “persistent”? Why are we all using one of the grossest words possible for this?

Gym etiquette is pretty incredible. It gives me hope for humanity. There’s always someone doing an absolutely insane-looking exercise. And no one ever comments on it. Not even a “can you believe this guy?” sideways look. Just people respectfully minding their own business.

I feel like I just scream into the void, continuously, at this point.

At this difficult time I think we can all join hands, close our eyes, keep silent for a moment, and agree that Sam Neill really had it going on.

Starting an NPR show called 3 Things Considered. We consider precisely three things a day. If any troublemaking jerk guests even try to bring up a fourth thing I put them in the sleeper hold and take them DOWN. You’d listen to this.

To be clear DRAG IS WHAT IT IS

Regarding Platner and this whole current *~*situation*~* of Dems hunting for candidates, I repost this one more time. open.substack.com/pub/danielle...

Finished Yesteryear. Feel like I’ve been punched in the face. I *think* I mean that as a compliment.