Kristi Yamaguccimane

Bram Stoker sounds like the coolest fucking surfer I’ve heard of

Can’t stop laughing at this

Ayy baby ya know I got that uhh, that Pierogi’s disease? The one that makes your dick curve up? Lemme talk to ya

I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure this is how you get 9/11: the sequel

All I know is the absolute worst people America has to offer have wanted war with Iran as long as I’ve been alive so it’s pretty easy for me to be against it.

The fake email job pyramid scheme is collapsing. America’s empire will run solely on the backs of Cracker Barrel waitresses, Twitch streamers, DoorDash drivers and solar panel companies that will be out of business in 8 months.

Me to Paul Newman’s family at the funeral: may his memory be a dressing

Meat slop is out. We’re fiber-maxxing now We’re getting grainpilled. We’re not mewing protein, we’re chewing bran. Three squares a day straight from the heartland. Got blood work done last week and my bad cholesterol it in half.

Every war time slop account on social media right now: 🚨BREAKING: US MILITARY RELEASES COCKPIT FOOTAGE OF AMERICAN FORCES DOWNING MULTIPLE IRANIAN FIGHTER JETS🚨

No way we’re having midterms with what these gas prices are about to do

Every town in America has a gym owner that drives a Cybertruck covered in the ugliest wrap you’ve ever seen